39 and waiting!

38 weeks

When I started out creating this post, life was calm with many thoughts of "when are we having this baby!" Then Eliza started crying (big time) in her room and we went in to find out she had thrown up all over her bed. Let the games begin. The poor sweet girl had a stomach virus and repeatedly got sick and then had a high fever for the next 24 hours.

My heart was torn in two as I tried to comfort her but soon began to panic about getting sick myself while being 39 weeks pregnant. What if Lucas got sick too AND I went into labor and he couldn't be with me. Hmmm. What to do? Hide out at my mom's house? Go get a mask? The thing about the stomach virus is you never know when it might get you and it comes on fast and hard. Not that any time is a great time to get it but come on...being this pregnant is REALLY bad timing.

I realized what was done was done. I kissed Eliza goodnight less than an hour before she got sick so I was already exposed. Let's get into battle mode and do what we have to do. I notified the grandmas and my doula to be on standby and we did our best to work as a team to take care of Eliza. We are now out of the woods as far as Eliza is concerned and it is up to Lucas and I to stay healthy. Bless the person who created bleach.

We are back to waiting for a baby, but now I am in the mindset that it will happen when it is meant to happen. I need to trust my body. This trust has been hard to come by since I was diagnosed with MS. A year and a half ago I truly thought my young body had failed me. Now is the time to make it as strong as possible and believe it can do anything I put my mind to.

Today I went on a walk with my family, took a nap, planted more flowers for our yard, took care of an almost 3 year old, soaked up the sun, helped to cook dinner and indulged in a milk shake. We are going to be experiencing a major change in our life soon, but I am also living life in the now and enjoying every minute of it.

Maternity Pictures-36 weeks

Being this is my last pregnancy and possibly the last time in my life that I may feel this good, we had a beautiful set of photos taken recently. I remember being pregnant with Eliza and thinking "Oh, I will never forget this feeling!" Of course you do. Although there are the challenges, there are many more amazing moments being pregnant.

Soon our family of 3 will become 4.

First Hair Cut!

My baby got her first hair cut! Actually it was just a trim but still a big milestone! We were headed to a tea themed birthday party so we also took advantage of doing beautiful princess curls. Three years of waiting for beautiful long hair has finally paid off:)






Eliza has been busy getting ready for the baby by reading books, watching a sibling video and of course giving Lucas a C-section to deliver a baby. Mmm hmmm. I have a picture and video but Lucas made me promise not to post it.

Since she will be turning 3 soon, Eliza is also busy thinking of what she wants for her birthday:

"Medicine for my mouth and nose. A pen. Paper."

O.K. so allergy medicine, a pen from our office and a pad of paper from some conference I attended. No problem.





Actually since she does a stroller strides workout about 4-5 times a day and has resorted to using a lawn mower as her stroller I think it would be nice of us to buy the poor kid a play jogging stroller. Lets just hope she doesn't get a baby sister or brother on the same day too:)

Pros and Cons of Pregnancy

32 Weeks

Whoa!!! We are in the home stretch of my final pregnancy experience! I am starting to put the breaks on a bit and really try to enjoy and absorb as much of it as I can. We have been busy bees trying to make a dent in the to do list and I finally feel more comfortable in all that has been accomplished.

A major task was painting the baby's room and putting up the wall decal. All without killing each other. Lucas huffed and puffed his way through painting with me (not his favorite thing to do) and I found enough patience to put up the wall decal. At least this baby will know that we tried to make a welcoming room for them:)


Eliza helping Lucas put together the changing table- this photo is to remind us to never buy furniture you have to put together ie. why Lucas won't look up at the camera or smile.



Another way of making this pregnancy more memorable is to make a pros and cons list. I think we will start with the cons so we end on a positive note.

Cons of being pregnant
*People staring at you-I kind of have a glimpse into the life of a large chested woman as people rarely make eye contact with me at first sight. Their eyes widen and go straight to the belly.

*Lame comments such as "Oh! You still have a long way to go!" This is after you tell them your due date. My new philosophy is to tell them "Any day now!"

*The first trimester. I shall refer to it as a "dark period" in my life.

*The physical issues. My aching back, hips, heartburn, peeing when I cough or sneeze, stuffy nose, bloody gums and uncomfortable sleeping and sitting positions.

* Not being able to have a nice glass of wine, beer or yummy martini. When you are having a stressful moment it is so nice to unwind with a relaxing beverage.

Pros of being pregnant

*People stare at you-strangers stare and smile sweetly at the sight of a beautiful pregnant belly. They may even offer to help or let you step in front of them in a line.

*Feeling the baby move. You always have a quiet buddy who loves to nudge and kick around inside. This is the number one thing I wish you could capture to remember the sensation.

*This is the one time in my life that I can take time off work or anything else life throws at you. I love seeing how open my calendar is for June and July. Nothing is more important than having a baby.

*The physical issues. Your hair doesn't fall out as much, my skin problems go away, MS? What MS?, paying more attention to your body and getting massages.

*Not being able to have a nice glass of wine, beer or yummy martini. Potty training Eliza hasn't been easy so I would probably be drunk under the table most nights if I wasn't pregnant.

*The anticipation of waiting for a new little person to arrive. This is like Christmas for adults! I love having a "project" for Lucas and I to focus on, plan for and bond over as a couple. It is even sweeter the second time around because we know how much fun having a child is.

Easter, Toddler Party and Baby Watch-28 weeks

Hello, hello!
Tis about time I got back to this finishing this post! This last month has been about completing the "Big Baby To Do List". Mostly so I can sleep soundly at night and not stress about all the things I need to do. In the meantime, we celebrated Easter and had a toddler birthday party with our friends. Doing a group birthday party is the best idea ever! My friend Emily has the best backyard and we all pitched in with food and drinks. I think this could be our new spring ritual.

The Birthday Girls: Eliza, Grace, Luciya and Maryn


Easter Egg Hunt Playgroup. Eliza has finally taken to the swings at the park. She didn't want to get out of this one so I referred to it as the "Toddler Bjorn".

Coloring Easter Eggs

Brunch and Easter Egg Hunt at Shelley's

Eliza's legs look so long in this picture! Everyone keeps telling me how tall she is...maybe so??

She is definitely getting the hang of the egg hunt

Easter Dinner with family at our house

After Easter Dinner....just kidding:)

Well, look who's a big girl now!

We have officially hit two MAJOR toddler milestones in the last two days!!!

1. Big Girl Bed- when people ask me in my parenting class "How old do you think my child should be to switch them out of a crib to a big kid bed?" I always reply "4th Grade". I am hardly kidding. One of the biggest battles many parents face is keeping their child in their own bed and I firmly believe you need to wait until they are mature enough to deal with such freedom. Also, I love my sleep and knowing that my child is safely asleep in their own bed. However, just as Eliza is getting bigger so am I. Physically it just wasn't working out to heave her over the side of the crib.
I wanted to make a big deal out of changing her bed so we had Eliza stay the night at Great Grandma Doris's house so Lucas and I could get to work. We changed her crib to the daybed option and moved most of her toys from the playroom (a.k.a new baby's room) into her room.
Lucas and I were so excited to see her reaction. Knowing our sweet Eliza though, she could either be afraid of the change and start crying or would love it. The look on her face was priceless when she entered her room. Pure joy. Mostly because of they toys. I am blown away by the fact that these same toys have been in the room next door for 2 years and she acts like they are all brand new.
She was soooo excited to go in and out of her bed "all by myself." For the last two days she repeatedly asks us to go into her room so she can show us what she can do. The best part about having a more timid child is that they don't even get out of the bed in the morning or after nap when they switch to a big kid bed. She still waits for me to come get her! Ask me in a month if that is still happening though.



2. Potty Training- Now we are still in the middle of this mighty task....however she has finally pooped in the big potty! This has been a big struggle for such a self conscious little person. Lucas and I have followed her around several times for a day and a half with no clothes on just waiting to catch the big event in the toilet. The result was the playroom or bedroom floor. Pure frustration and doubt that it would EVER happen. I was getting really frustrated so I backed away and put her back in diapers. We told her as soon as she pooped in the toilet she could wear her underwear. Well....look who's got her cute underwear on:

Next is tackling the potty while out in public. Wish us luck.


I am now a whopping 24 weeks pregnant! Everything is going very smoothly and I am enjoying this midpoint in the pregnancy. I do feel very heavy and am a little frightened by the fact that I am only going to get heavier. The nesting feeling has definitely kicked in and I have a to do list in effect. The baby is active and we have been able to see the kicks and pokes in the last few weeks.


Our family is also very excited to announce that my brother Erik and his wife Katie are expecting twins this October too! It is crazy to think we are almost doubling the number of grandkids in one year :)

Baby watch-20 weeks!

It's a....




BABY! No, we did not find out what "flavor" we are having at our 20 week ultrasound today:)
We are staying strong with not finding out! Our 20 week appointment was actually yesterday but the office messed up and didn't schedule our ultrasound at the same time. I am sure if we were finding out the gender I would have started crying. We were offered the option of doing the ultrasound the next day but at Intermountain Medical Imaging. This also happens to be where I have gotten my MRI's. It was such a joy to be going there for this event instead of the other. Eliza came with us and did really well through the hour long peek at the baby. I am sure it is so weird to look at a black and white screen with basic anatomical features and have everyone telling you "Oh, look at your baby sister or brother!" The poor kid doesn't even know what a bone is.


Arm and head





We watched the baby try oh so hard to get their hand to their wide open mouth. So cute.




Of course since baby is growing mom is growing so here are the most recent pictures of me:



18 weeks


20 weeks




Half way through and I am so big already! Oh well. I am really enjoying the pregnancy now and am trying to appreciate every moment. Life is going to fly by so fast and I want to slow it down just a bit. Lucas and I have been working at finding the right names but it has been tough. I won't make fun of people who go to the hospital without a name picked out anymore. All serious suggestions will be greatly appreciated!

My dear friend April is due in the next 3 weeks with her first baby and I just returned from her baby shower in Detroit last weekend. We have known each other since elementary school and it is so fun to both be pregnant at the same time. I love her dearly and hope the best for the arrival of her sweet little girl.



My brother and his wife just did a final round of IVF this week so we are keeping our hopes up and fingers crossed that they are as fortunate as we all are.

Oh Baby-15 weeks

Hello Baby!

This is the ultrasound done unexpectedly at 12 weeks since we couldn't hear the heart beat at first. The little critter is moving, kicking, swallowing and can hear. I did feel the first little flutter kicks at about week 13. I haven't felt too much since then, but can't wait to consistently feel that movement!
Here is the 15 week belly shot! There is no sucking it in anymore, the bump is officially here:)



The food issues are getting to be comical around here. My sweet husband has been doing all the weekly grocery shopping for us since I found out I was pregnant. Things are a bit tricky for him though. Here are some examples:

Me: "You bought Stawberry Yogurt Cheerios instead of the Berry flavored ones I asked for."
Him: "That was all they had! It was the closest thing."
Me: "Oh.."

Me: "You bought French Silk flavored ice cream? Are you trying to get back at me for something?
Him: "I didn't know you didn't like it? I thought I would surprise you!"
Me: "Oh...yuck"

Yes, I am pickier than our own 2 year old has ever been.

I get it!

I am angry, sad, hormonal and nauseated.

I should be 7 weeks pregnant. Instead I am going through my 3rd pregnancy loss in 4 years. I should be "2 for 2", not "3 for 1" in the sucessful pregnancy odds. I should NOT be so experienced at what to do when your early pregnancy goes south. Are you kidding me? I get the message that life is hard and there are challenges but it seems like you can only get kicked in the face so many times.

This loss is considered a blighted ovum or empty sac: http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/blightedovum.html
Nothing related to my first two losses so it looks like I am spreading my bad luck out???

I am sad for the loss of this baby (it doesn't matter if I already have a beautiful daughter and someday I will have another-hopefully).
I hate the feeling of getting kicked off the "pregnancy train" and sent to the start of the line like I am playing a board game. I hate to be the one to have so many negative health issues. Maybe I should start doing plastic surgery so I can get something positive out of my health care dollars.

I have opted for a D&C this Wednesday morning so I can start over again sooner than later. My body doesn't seem to get the message that my pregnancies are over when they should be. The flip side is my "MS body" won't be in remission any longer so I may be experiencing more symptoms with the change in hormones etc. As if a pregnancy loss wasn't bad enough.

I have to leave on a postive note, right? Hopefully we will get pregnant again soon so I don't have to get back on my MS medications.
I am angry, sad, hormonal and nauseated. I am also loved by so many friends and family members who will help me get through this.